The TFB Nightclub
by L Crawford
Summary: Faye (that's me) sets up a nightclub for the memers of the TFB. Nudity, Stupidity, Busted, Riots, Lames Jokes? What more do you need?
1. Late Night Sauna

Authors Note: Any instances of non-standard spelling, grammar, or punctuation are hereby declared intentional, and should be considered jokkes. As for the wittiness (like this authors note) I must thank Michael Gerber and his parody of Harry Potter (Barry Trotter and the shameless parody) because I stole most of the funny jokes from him.well, only some.  
  
The TFB Nightclub  
  
Faye was a respectable member of the TFB. Well, respectable until an idea struck her head (which didn't happen often) to open a Nightclub. Oddly, the other TFB members didn't seem to mind much, or they just didn't give a damn at all. So that is exactly what Faye did. She opened a nightclub especially for the TFB members, which was situated just down the road from the TFB itself. She called it "Late Night Sauna", after the name of a song from her favourite band, Busted, which she had been obsessing over at the time. And rather fittingly, Faye had another idea (she must have set a world record), why not Busted play on her opening night? Thinking this was the best idea in the wold, Faye magically rang the band up and surprisingly enough, they agreed. Faye must admit that even she was shocked to see they had accepted the offer. They obviously hadn't heard of the TFB before. It was rumoured that it had once been a hospital for insane teenagers to discuss different ways of kidnapping penguins and poking badgers with spoons. And by looking at the rabble that associated there, you wouldn't be surprised these rumours were flying around. Anyway, back to the Nightclub.  
  
It was the opening evening of Late Night Sauna, and every TFB member that had the slightest interest in the Club (most just wanted to pelt each other with stuffed olives) had been invited. The Busted boys had arrived at six (although they didn't perform until nine, but Faye just wanted to be in the same place as them) and had settled into the dressing rooms. After having simultaneous heart attacks when ever she heard the lads breathing, Faye had got everything set up for the big night. 


	2. Wansey

It was now eight thirty (my how time flies) and Late Night Sauna had filled up considerably. Faye was feeling rather smug with herself at the turn out, and just as her head was about to get so big that it would pop and smear the walls with her brain, something humane like knocked into her, sending her and the "thing" on to the floor. Faye looked up to see May brushing dust off her clothes. Faye rubbed her head and got off the floor.  
  
"Hiya May." She said presenting a clipboard from somewhere and looking down it.  
  
"Hiya. So, who's playing tonight?" May asked sitting herself down at one of the tables at the front.  
  
"Busted." Faye replied with wide dream-like eyes.  
  
"What? You've got to be kidding me. You couldn't have got someone better than Busted?" May scowled.  
  
"Better.than.Busted?" Faye asked confused.  
  
"Yea, I'm not going to come if you don't get someone better." May said sipping on a cocktail with a pink umbrella.  
  
Faye stopped and thought for a second. She grinned as an idea struck her (oh my, three ideas in one story, now look who's the brain surgeon).  
  
"Stay here. Don't go, I have just the thing for you." Faye said and disappeared off into the crowd.  
  
~~~ Meanwhile in the dressing rooms ~~~  
  
James entered the dressing room to find Charlie examining himself in the mirror and Matt reading a magazine. He had just been out to get some Jaffa cakes and settled himself down in a chair and started having a good ol' munch on them. Matt looked repulsed at the small orange tub and shifted his chair away from James slightly. James grinned and small crumbs of Jaffa cake fell from his mouth. Matt was about to protest when there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Come in." Matt said.  
  
The door opened slowly and Amie poked her head round the corner.  
  
"Hi James." She said quietly.  
  
James looked up and quickly swallowed the Jaffa cakes. Unfortunately he started to choke.  
  
"Hi." He said feebly after he stopped coughing.  
  
"I was just wondering if I could leave you my number." Amie said.  
  
"Yea sure." James said and pulled a small note pad out of his pocket. He flipped through a few pages and handed it to Amie. She grinned like an insane person and scrawled her number down.  
  
"Thanks." She said and departed.  
  
"How many pages you got now JB?" Matt asked.  
  
"Six." James replied grinning and looking through the pages of numbers he had.  
  
"I've almost got six." Matt said getting up and looking down at James' list.  
  
"How many have you got Chaz?" Matt asked Charlie.  
  
"One wouldn't know seeing as one doesn't mingle with the lower classes." Charlie replied.  
  
James rolled his eyes and threw his note pad at Charlie's head. It pounced off and tumbled to the floor.  
  
"Oi, knob 'ead! Careful of my eyebrows it takes me forever to get them this bushy." Charlie said running his fingers over them.  
  
"I don't see why you bother mate. People only point and laugh." James said.  
  
~~~ Back to the Club ~~~  
  
Hannah and May sat at the table near the front of the stage.  
  
"So who's playing tonight?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Busted." May groaned.  
  
"Oh you are kiddin me."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Right well, I'm not sticking around then." Hannah said getting out her mobile phone. She tapped in a number and waited for and answer.  
  
"Neo? Where are you?" She asked.  
  
A faint reply that sounded a lot like "UUUUHHHHH" came from the other end. May didn't understand but Hannah seemed to know what that meant.  
  
"Good. Stay there and get your tea machine ready. I'm coming over." Hannah said.  
  
Another "UUUUUHHHH" could be heard and Hannah put the phone down.  
  
"Seeya May." She said before hopping off her seat and leaving.  
  
"Bye." May said unhappily.  
  
Just then Faye came running back.  
  
"Right. I've got it sorted. Tom is coming to do a strip tease." She said.  
  
"Tom? Tom who? Not Tom Felton surely?" May asked.  
  
"Nooooo! Don't be silly! I don't want my Club reaking of fish! No Tom Wansey." Faye said.  
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAA! WANSEEEEEEY!!!!" May screamed. 


	3. Penguin

Faye slowly moved away from the screaming May and descended into the mass of TFBers in the club. She wasn't surprised to see a penguin sipping on a martini. After all, this was the TFB nightclub. Anything was possible.  
  
"New friend Christy?" Faye asked.  
  
Christy, who was sitting next to the penguin, shook her head.  
  
"He stole my martini." Christy whispered.  
  
Faye sighed.  
  
"Ah damn. OI YOU! Shoo! Go on piss off!" Faye shouted to the penguin.  
  
It looked at her, made a squawk sound and waddled away.  
  
"So who's playing tonight Faye?" Christy asked ordering another martini.  
  
"Did you guys not read the sign outside?" Faye asked.  
  
"Sign?" Christy said.  
  
"Don't worry. Busted are playing." Faye said.  
  
The sound of a glass could be heard smashing.  
  
"B-b-b-busted?" Christy said oblivious to the martini and broken glass by her feet.  
  
"Yep the one and only."  
  
~~~ Meanwhile in the dressing room ~~~  
  
"How long have we got left in here?" James asked.  
  
"Another twenty minutes." Matt said. "So you wanna hurry up Chaz."  
  
"I have to get my eyebrows just right." Charlie said.  
  
"We don't have THAT long Mate." James said.  
  
Matt and James both snorted like hillbillies for a few moments before a penguin waked into the room.  
  
James and Matt both stared at it.  
  
"You alright mate?" Charlie asked the waddling bird.  
  
"Spiffy." The penguin replied. "I was just wondering if you chaps had any martini?"  
  
James and Matt exchanged a glance.  
  
"No? Oh well. See you around chums." The penguin said and left the room.  
  
"That was a penguin right?" Matt asked.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"And it did ask for some martini right?" Matt asked.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"You know JB, this place is starting to scare me."  
  
"Yea, I think we should hold hands for a few minutes." James said.  
  
Matt glanced at James and scowled.  
  
"Keep away from me man." He said before sitting down.  
  
~~~ Back in the club ~~~  
  
"I want you Mattie Jay, aye aye, I need you here with, May, You know that I wont stop until I've got yoooou, I want you Mattie Jay!"  
  
This was what was being sung by the Busted fans of the TFB in the club. Faye knew only too well that there were a lot of non-Busted fans there and was worried about the fighting. Any time now a riot would start. 


End file.
